Are you looking for Scary Halloween Jokes to makes your Halloween festival amazing? If yes, we have almost 111 new cracking jokes to make this event memorable. Visit our blog Azfarfaheem.blogspot.com to get more about the Halloween festival. Do you know about my passion for (amazingly funny) lame dad jokes? You know – the sort of jokes that create everyone laughs out loud, whilst instantaneously rolling their eyes? I love them! So I’ve collected 111 of my favorite, kid-friendly, spooky jokes.
Spooky Halloween Jokes for Kids
On which day are ghosts most scary? Fright-day!
What do witches put in their hair? Scare spray!
What do spooks with poor eyesight wear? Spook-tacles!
What day do ghosts do their howling? On Moan-day!
Did you hear about the monster who ate his own house? He was homesick.
What do you call a hairy monster in a river? A weir-wolf!
How did the vampire race finish? Neck and neck!
Where does the witch’s frog sit? On a toadstool.
What is a skeleton’s favourite instrument? A trombone.
How do ghosts go from floor to floor? By scare-case!
What noise does a witch’s breakfast cereal make? Snap, cackle and pop!
What do you call two witches who share a room? Broom mates!
What type of coffee does a vampire drink? De-coffin-ated!
What do witches race on? Vroomsticks!
How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern.
Did you hear about the untidy cemetery? You wouldn’t want to be caught dead in there!
Why did the ghost go to the sales? Because they were bargain haunters!
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests!
Which boats do vampires travel in? Blood vessels.
Why didn’t the skeleton jump off the roof? He didn’t have the guts.
Why did the skeleton climb a tree? Because a dog was after his bones!
Why don’t skeletons play music in church? Because they have no organs!
What do you get when you cross the Abominable Snowman and pasta? Spag-yeti!
What do ghosts turn on in summer? The scare-conditioner!
Why did the zombie decide to stay in his coffin? He felt rotten.
Why do ghosts hate rain? It dampens their spirits.
What do you call a witch that lives at the beach? A sand witch!
How do you make a witch scratch? Take away the ‘w’!
What is a spook’s favourite ride? A roller-ghoster!
What is a vampire’s favourite fruit? Necktarines!
What is a ghost’s favourite dessert? Boo-berries and I Scream!
What is a ghost’s favourite bedtime story? Little Boo Peep!
What kind of mistake does a ghost make? A boo-boo!
Why do they have a fence around the graveyard? Because everyone is dying to get in!
What did the wizard say to the twin witches? Which witch is which?
What does a ghost do when he gets in the car? Puts his sheet belt on!
Why are vampires so unpopular? Because they are pains in the neck!
Why did Dr Jekyll cross the road? To get to the other Hyde!
Who did the monster take to the Halloween dance? His ghoul friend!
How can you tell if a vampire has a cold? He starts coffin!
What bear goes around scaring other animals? Winnie the Boo!
What game do young ghosts love? Hide and shriek!
What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-etti.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Witches. Witches who? Witches the way home?
Why are ghosts so bad at lying? Because you can see right through them!
What do ghosts use to wash their hair? Sham-boo!
What does a skeleton say before dinner? Bone appetit!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
Scary Halloween Jokes and Riddles 2022 For Everyone:
What is a vampire’s favourite dog? A bloodhound.
What did King Kong say when his sister had a baby? Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!
What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Potato ships!
Why did the cyclops give up teaching? Because she only had one pupil.
What do devil’s drink? Demonade.
How does a monster count to thirteen? On her fingers.
What kind of cheese do monster’s eat? Monsterella!
What did the baby zombie want for her birthday? A deady bear.
How many witches does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but she changes it into a frog!
Who is the best dancer at the monster party? The Boogie Man!
Why are ghosts such terrible liars? Because you can see right through them!
Did you hear about the ghost who ate all the Christmas decorations? He got tinselitus!
What is Dracula’s favourite ice-cream flavour? Vein-illa!
What do baby ghosts wear on their little feet? Booties!
What is a witch’s favourite subject in school? Spelling!
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? He had no body to go with.
How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle her funnybone.
What is a ghost’s favourite position in soccer? Ghoul-keeper.
Most Funny Jokes For Halloween 2022
Why didn’t the mummy have any friends? (Because he was wrapped up in himself!)
What road has the most ghosts haunting it? (A dead end!)
Why is there a gate around cemeteries? (Because people are dying to get in!)
What do ghosts eat on Halloween. (Ghoulash!)
Where do ghosts go when they’re sick? (To the witch doctor!)
What position does a ghost play in soccer? (Ghoulie!)
What are a ghost’s favorite pants? (Boo jeans!)
What monster plays tricks on Halloween?(Prank-enstein!)
What room is useless for a ghost?(A living room!)
What do sea monsters eat for lunch?(Fish and ships!)
What did the skeleton order for dinner?(Spare ribs!)
What do you call a skeleton who won’t work?(Lazy bones!)
What’s a monster’s favorite place to swim?(Lake Eerie!)
How do you make a skeleton laugh?(Tickle her funny bone!)
Where should a 500 pound monster go?(On a diet!)
Why did the vampire get thrown out of the haunted house?(Because he was a pain in the neck!)
What did Dracula say about his girlfriend?(It was love at first bite!)
Why did the vampire flunk art class?(Because he could only draw blood!)
What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?(A blood test!)
What’s the problem with twin witches?(You can’t tell which witch is which!)
Why do witches fly on brooms?(Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!)
What do you call witches who live together?(Broom-mates!)
What do you do with a green monster?(Wait until she’s ripe!)
What do witches ask for at hotels?(Broom service!)
What do little monsters eat?(Alpha-bat soup!)
What do ghosts use to clean their hair?(Sham-boo!)
Why didn’t the zombie go to school?(He felt rotten!)
Why did the cyclops stop teaching?(Because he only had one pupil!)
Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?(Because there are so many plots there!)
Why are graveyards noisy?(Because of all the coffin!)
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?(Straw-berries!)
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?(Because he was out standing in his field!)
What do witches put on their bagels?(Scream cheese!)
Why are vampires tough to get along with?(Because they can be a pain in the neck!)
Do you know how to make a witch itch?(You take away the w!)
Where does Dracula keep his money?(In a blood bank!)
What subject in school is easy for a witch?(Spell-ing!)
How does a witch tell time?(With a witch watch!)
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?(Because he couldn’t find any body to go with him!)
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?(No body!)
Where do baby ghosts go during the day?(Dayscare!)
What do ghosts like for dessert?(I scream!)
What’s a monster’s favorite play?(Romeo and Ghouliet!)
What do witches put on their hair?(Scare spray!)
What’s a haunted chicken?(A poultry-geist!)
How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?(With a pumpkin patch!)
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?(Pumpkin pi!)
What breed of dog does Dracula have?(A bloodhound!)
What’s big, scary, and has three wheels?(A monster riding a tricycle!)
Which witch is good when it’s dark?(A lights-witch!)
What’s the best way to talk to a monster?(From afar!)
What should you do if you’re attacked by a group of clowns?(Go for the juggler/jugular!)
What animal is best at baseball?(A bat!)
Which circus performers can see in the dark?(The acro-bats!)
Why don’t bats live alone?(They like to hang out with their friends!)
What animal is good at cricket?(A bat!)
What happened to the cannibal who was late to dinner?(They gave her the cold shoulder!)
